Doctor Nobody
by OurLordDisco
Summary: The Doctor loses his heart... but wait! What about the spare? Now we have a jealous Luxord, a Xigbar for a babysitter, and a Marluxia... yeah, him  being himself. K plus because I most probably have swearing here somewhere.
1. Chapter 1

The Doctor wandered through Traverse Town aimlessly. He'd never been to, nor even heard of such a place before about 5 minutes ago, and had been thoroughly excited. However, the more he walked, the more wary he became. It was something about the way the shadows moved, or the fact that there appeared to be no one around at all. Was that normal for this place? Something in the back of his mind screamed for him to run, back to the TARDIS, back to somewhere safe, but still he walked. He really should've listened to the voice in his head. He heard a sound and turned around. In front of him was a creature with a black body and antennae, with glowing yellow eyes. The Doctor smiled. It looked kind of cute. He pulled out his sonic screwdriver and scanned the creature, but the Doctor couldn't tell anything about it, which worried him. He looked back at the creature, and he noticed that behind the creature were several more that looked the same. They moved toward him. The Doctor tried to back away, but found he came into contact with yet more of the nameless creatures behind him. They began to attack just as a boy with spiky blond hair in a black coat ran toward them, whacking the creatures with a giant key. The Doctor blacked out.

Roxas defeated the Heartless, and then turned to the man lying on the floor. He had brown hair that stuck up around him (but not in a gravity defying way, like most people Roxas knew), he wore a brown pinstriped suit and brown trench coat, and white sneakers.

"What happened here?" A familiar voice called from behind him.

"This man was attacked by the Heartless," said Roxas, "I think they took his heart."

"So… he's a Nobody, then?" Axel said,

"Maybe. We should probably take him to Xemnas and check."

The Doctor woke to find himself lying on a bed in an unfamiliar white room. He tried to recall what had happened. He'd been attacked by adorable little killers. That much he knew. He stood up and flexed his body, testing himself. Nothing seemed wrong, not really any pain. But an emptiness, an emptiness inside. _I'm probably just hungry, nothing to worry about, _the Doctor thought, thinking nothing of it. There was nothing in the room, other than himself and the bed he had been lying on, but then he noticed a door, which was also white. Looking at the bed, it was also white. _Someone here likes really boring colours._ He walked to the door and opened it, to find a (you guessed it) white hallway.

"Hello?" He called, his voice echoing. "Anyone there?" The door to his left opened and out came a man in a black coat with a blonde mullet.

"Oh, you must be the new guy the kid saved." He said, smiling at the Doctor. "Hi, I'm Demyx!" He stuck his hand out. The doctor shook it. "I'm the Doctor."

"Doctor who?"

"Yeah, pretty much!" It was the Doctor's turn to grin. "Where am I?"

"Uh… what… Oh, this is the Castle That Never Was,"

"But if it never was, how can it be? Is this castle a paradox?"

"A para-what?"

"Paradox. You know, something that in self contradictory, like if you were to go back in time to kill your own grandma when she's a little kid, but then she could have never had your parent, meaning you wouldn't exist. But if you never existed, you couldn't go back and change the past in the first place. You see what I mean?" Demyx blinked. "You know what? Never mind. What am I doing here?"

"Oh, well, you were attacked... some stuff happened..." Demyx rubbed the back of his head, "I'm just going to take you to Superior. He's better at this than I am."

So now the Doctor stood, alone, in a (funnily enough) white room, with a giant window looking out to a giant heart shape in the sky. The Doctor had never heard of a heart shaped moon before. This place just gets wierder and wierder. Was this a prison? His thoughts were interupted with the sudden gathering of shadows, which then disapated to form a person in a black coat with its hood up.

"You have become on of us," They said. Was this the Superior Demyx mentioned earlier?

"One of what?" The Doctor asked, "Who are you, what's your name?"

"My name is of no importance," he said, "What about you, do you remember your true name?" **(A/N: I expect Xemnas would be one to use the same or similar speech over and over)**

"Well, yeah, I do/ but I can't tell you or your brain will explode. Plus, I'm not in love with you."

"Your true name is hidden-"

"Don't I know it-"

"So what is it you call yourself?"

"The Doctor, and don't you dare make a 'Doctor Who?' pun because we're all sick of them!"

"Doctor is a title, not a name. What is your name?" The Doctor was taken aback. He wasn't used to people not accepting 'the Doctor.' He had decided that whoever this guy is, he didn't like him.

"They called me Theta at home. Ages ago, before it was destroyed-"

"By Heartless?" Superior interrupted,

"No, by a war. It was bad, lots of people died, then came back, and died again... and why am I telling you this?"

"Hmm, interesting. You seem to come from a world unlike the ones we know."

"Why am I here? What are you?"

"We are Nobodies, what remains of those who have lost their heart to the Darkness." the Superior said... superiorly (if that is a word).

"Wait, lost your heart? You've lost your heart?" The Doctor asks, not really believing it.

"Correction, we have lost our hearts. You are one of us now." At this, the Doctor grinned.

"Oh but see, this is where you are wrong! Sometimes, it is handy to have a spare!"

"A spare?" asked Superior, "Explain."

"I'm a Time Lord, of the planet Gallifrey. I have a sexy TARDIS who can take me anywhere within time and space, sometimes into other dimensions or alternate universes if the world's ending. If I die I can just come back. Oh, and one more thing. Two hearts!"

**A/N: All right, chapter 1 is finished. I don't have much funny stuff in it at the moment (but how do you make our favourite hero losing his heart funny?) but next chapter will be better. Why? The Doc meets Luxord. Enough said. So review if you want. Or ignore me. Or claw your eyes out if it was **_**really**_** terrible. But hopefully it won't come to that. But it might. Anyway...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Just so you know, this fic is set in a time where every member can live in the castle simultaneously. Also, Xion will be there too. I might have Sora come in and kill some people, if I feel like making it happen. We shall see...**

"Two-two hearts?" The Superior faltered and the Doctor smirked inwardly.

"Now, you can answer my questions. Who are you?"

"I am Xemnas, Number I in Organisation XIII. We are a group of people dedicated to having their hearts returned." The Superior removed his hood. He had long silver hair and orange eyes.

"You intrigue me, Time Lord. How exactly… did you come about?"

"I was born on Gallifrey, but due to direct contact with the Time Vortex, I became a Time Lord." Xemnas pursed his fingers.

"Hmm… interesting. I must discuss the situation with my second-in-command. In the mean time, you may acquaint yourself with the other members. Number II will accompany you." As if on cue, a man appeared from a black portal. He, too, had a black coat (why do so many people have this same coat?), and dark hair tied back in a ponytail, striped with silver, and orange eyes, the right one covered with an eye patch. He had a scar across the left side of his jaw. He smiled. "Hello. The name's Xigbar, I'll be your guide to the castle during your stay."

"I'm the Doctor," the Doctor also smiled, "Are you a pirate? I love pirates!" Xigbar laughed at that.

"Oh I like you! Come on." Xigbar gestured to the door behind them. They walked through it into a WHITE hallway.

"What is with all the white?" the Doctor asked, as they walked.

"I mean to offense to the Superior, but he is very boring." said Xigbar.

"So, you have no hearts?"

"Apparently not." The Doctor frowned and pulled out his sonic screwdriver.

"Hmm... odd... I wonder..." he pointed the device at Xigbar, who summoned two arrowguns and held them in front of him.

"Don't even try, or I'll kick your ass so hard you'll find yourself in flipping Agrabah!" he snarled. The Doctor backed away quickly, frightened. "No! No, no! It's not a weapon! Look1" The Doctor turned the screwdriver on himself and pressed the button. When Xigbar was sure he was safe, he relaxed and his weapons disappeared. "Sorry, but one can never be too careful. Particularly here." Xigbar smiled. "But anyway, this here is the Grey Area." He pointed at a door. "It's basically the living or entertainment room. And before you ask, it isn't grey, it's still white." The Doctor nodded. Honestly, he wasn't expecting anything else. Xigbar opened the door. The (white!) room was filled with Nobodies in that same black coat, engaging in important activities, such as watching TV and playing video games.

"Alright, first we'll meet your saviours." Xigbar dragged the Doc over to three people sitting on a (let's just assume everything is white unless otherwise stated) sofa, playing Mario Kart on the Wii. One had horrendously spiky, gravity defying red hair and upside down tear-drop shaped tattoos under brilliantly green eyes. The second was short, and had much less spiky blonde hair and blue eyes that were very bright. The third was a girl (the only one the Doctor had seen so far) and was also short, with short black hair, and blue/purple eyes.

"Guys this is the Doctor." said Xigbar, "The guy you found the other night. Doctor this is," he pointed at the blonde, "Roxas," at the girl, "Xion, and,"

"It's Axel," the red-head interrupted, "A-X-E-L. Got it memorised?" He tapped the side of his head.

"Ignore him, he's an idiot." said Roxas. "So, are you part of the Organisation now?"

"Well, that's yet to be decided, on account of the fact I still have a heart." said the Doctor.

"I bet the Sexman's jealous." Axel smirked while Roxas and Xion just blinked comically.

"Sexman?" the Doctor wondered,

"Insanely." Xigbar said, grinning. "Well, we'd better get going, lots of other people to meet, don't want to disappoint."

"See you 'round, Doctor." said Axel, turning back to the game, "Alright, Xion, prepare to have your butt kicked."

"If by that you mean prepare to laugh at your failure, than yes, I will." Xion retorted, "Roxas... I'll see you when – if you finally make it to the finish line." **(A/N:****Roxas****sucks****at****Mario****Kart.****He****still****hasn****'****t****finished****the****first****lap)**Xigbar walked off with the Doctor trailing after him. They moved to a corner that was empty save for a big man with red hair, playing with a Rubik Cube.

"Lexaeus, this is the Doctor." said Xigbar. Lexaeus grunted acknowledgement, not looking up from the Cube.

"He's a Nobody but still has a heart." Xigbar pressed.

"Uh huh." said Lexaeus still not looking up.

"Yeah, he doesn't talk much. On we go" The walked past Lexaeus, to a table where two people were playing a card game. One had black dreadlocks and mutton chop sideburns, the other had short blonde hair and a goatee, and many piercings.

"'Ello, Xigba'," the blonde one said in a British accent, "Fancy losing all your munny again?"

"Not right now, Lux, I'm introducing the new guy. Doctor, this is Luxord and Xaldin. Guys, this is the Doctor." Luxord smiled and started shuffling the deck.

"How 'bout a game, then, Doc?" he asked. The Doctor began to consider this, but Xigbar shook his head. "Don't do it. He cheats."

"Cheating and playing well is not the same thing." Luxord said.

"I think you'd get on with Lux, Doctor." Xigbar said, changing the subject. "You both have much in common. Both British, both have time powers..." A lot of things happened at once. Xaldin got up and left the room, mumbling something about needing to sharpen his lances (in reality, he was scared). Luxord and the Doctor both exclaimed 'Time powers?' at the same time.

"What do you mean, time powers?" Luxord said,

"Well... he's- he's a Time... Lord." said Xigbar.

"What do mean _Lord_?"

"He- he comes from another world... and I'm pretty sure he can time travel."

"He's _not_ a Time Lord?" the Doctor asked, "But that can't be right. The only other species that can time travel are the Daleks... and you can't be a Dalek!"

"I can very well time travel, thank you, and I am not one of these _'__Daleks__'_ you speak of!" said Luxord, "Now excuse me, there are some _time_things I must do." Luxord walked out in a huff.

"Oh shit, I thought he'd like you." said Xigbar, "So sorry, I know he loves his time powers... damn."

"No, it's fine... it's just... strange... that's all." They walked off, over to the boy the Doctor recognised as Demyx, playing Guitar Hero with a blonde woman with antennae like hair strands sticking out.

"Give it up, Larxene, I kick your ass at Guitar Hero!" Demyx said, grinning. In response, Larxene threw her guitar into the air, and a bolt of lightning appeared out of nowhere and fried the instrument.

"You watch yourself, IX, or you'll find yourself sleeping with the fishes! And I don't mean your Nemo plushie!" she growled, disappearing in a cloud of darkness.

"Man, she's nuts!" said Demyx. Only then did he notice the Doctor there. "Oh, hey! It's you, new guy! How are you, Doctor?"

"I'm fine, but you don't seem to be, what happened?"

"Oh, don't mind Larx," Xigbar said, "She's like that to everyone, all the freaking time!" It suddenly occurred to the Doctor that the room was now empty.

"Where's everyone gone?" He asked.

"Must be dinner. How did I ever miss that?" Demyx said, "Stomach, you're failing me!"

"Well this'll be the perfect time to introduce you to the rest of the Organisation."

'' '' ''

The Doctor sat at the long dining room table, across from Xemnas, who was staring at him intently, which freaked him out a bit. Everyone was eating. What they were eating, the Doctor didn't know exactly. It was meat. WHITE meat. Not chicken, FREAKING PAPER WHITE. The Doctor was getting increasingly irritated with the castle's bland colour scheme.

"As you can probably tell, we have a new addition to our meal this evening. For those of you who haven't met him yet, let me introduce you to the Doctor." said Xemnas.

"Does he not have a name?" asked a... Nobody, with pink hair that spiked around... it. The Doctor wasn't quite sure whether it was male or female, but the Doctor was too polite to ask. **(A/N:****Don****'****t****take****the****Marly****bashing****seriously,****I****like****him****in****reality,****but****he****'****s****just****so****easy****to****make****fun****of)**

"He has a name, but it is hidden. He is called the Doctor." said Xemnas. "And I request you refrain from speaking to myself and of our guest in such a manner, XI." The Doctor heard Axel (who was beside Demyx who was to the Doctor's right) whisper to Roxas 'Marly got SERVED!'

"So you're a doctor, are you?" asked a man with long blonde hair, who was sitting to Xemnas' right. "A medical doctor? Or is it something stupid like a PhD in cheese making?"

"Bit of everything, actually." said the Doctor, "Except for history subjects. I point and laugh at archaeologists."

"That's interesting. Zexion," he pointed at a short boy with blue/silver hair, "And I are scientists. Well, I'm a scientist, he's my assistant."

"And by assistant, Vexen, you mean the guy who has to fix everything when you screw up." said Zexion.

"Exactly." said the blonde man identified now as Vexen. The Doctor chuckled.

After dinner, once the Doctor had been properly introduced to everyone (turns out the guy with the pink hair was a man, which the Doc had figured out due to a dirty comment made by Xigbar) and had successfully avoided speaking to Luxord, Xemnas took the Doctor aside and said,

"Doctor, if you would come with me, we have arrangements to make."

**Reader's, look at your writing, then back at mine, then back to yours, then back to mine. This is the writing your writing could look like. _If_I was the guy from the Old Spice ad. But I'm not.**

**SEATING CHART (If you're curious)**

**|7|5|3|14|13|8|9| 1= Xemnas, 2= Xigbar... etc. D= Doctor**

**1===========D **

**|4|6|10|11|12|2|**

**They don't sit in any order, they sit in friendship groups (Xigbar usually sits between Zexion and Luxord, but moved to sit by the Doctor. Which the Doctor was happy about, not wanting to sit next to Larxene.)**

**There's a rumour going around that says I own Doctor Who, Kingdom Hearts, Old Spice, Mario Kart and Guitar Hero. It's not true. I don't even own a Rubik Cube. **

**And no, I don't know what they're eating. Probably a steak that the Sexman genetically modified.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm going to try something here. Whenever I want to put an Author's Note within the story, I'll put a number in brackets, and at the bottom of the page I'll post the corresponding A/N.**

"We have discussed the current situation a length," Xemnas said, "and have come to what we found would be the best solution."

"And that solution would be...?" the Doctor asked,

"You said you were made into a Time Lord. Then make us all Time Lords as well." There was a quite long awkward silence. "Well?"

"Are you kidding me?" the Doctor said, "No! No, no, no, no! It's not going to happen!"

"And why not?"

"It's horribly dangerous and you'll probably catch fire if I try! It rarely ever works, on people who have hearts; Rassilon only knows what will happen to 14 heartless people!" Xemnas stood silently, not showing his emotions (there's a good reason for that, but the Doctor doesn't know about it).

"Then you will stay here, permanently, or until you decide to choose the right path, and do what I have commanded you. Go, Doctor, dress in the coat that has been provided for you in your room, then join us in the meeting room. Xigbar, again, shall accompany you." **(1)**

"You can't keep me here!" the Doctor shouted, but to no effect. Xigbar appeared, looking unhappy, and pulled the Doctor away. When they were in the hallway, Xigbar said, "Sorry, Doc, but I have to follow the orders of the Superior, lest I be called a traitor." The Doctor kept silent. They reached the Doctor's room, and Xigbar left for his own room at the other end of the hall. The Doctor opened the door to find a room with white walls, white floor, a white bed and a white dresser within it. The Doctor, angry already at being held hostage by a bunch of Heartless people, shouted, "Ugh! I'm sick of all this WHITE!" He pulled out his sonic screwdriver and pointed it at the wall. He zapped it for a few seconds, and then smiled. The room now looked like the inside of the TARDIS; the bed became dark red wood with gold bedding and the dresser the colour of copper with silver handles. "Now that is a lot better!" He quickly dressed in the Organisation Coat that was in the dresser, and went back out into the hall. The Doctor's door looked like the outside of the TARDIS, and the walls of the hall like in space. The floor was fluffy red carpet. Xion came out of the room to the Doctor's left. "What just happened?" she asked, "My room suddenly became colourful!"

"Yeah!" The Doctor grinned, "I did it! Do you like?"

"Well, of course, but Superior won't. It was nice knowing you, but I'm not sure you will be here much longer."

They were now in the meeting room, (which looked like a zoo).

"Doctor? What have you done?" Xemnas asked,

"Well, it involved removing the Slitheen within the Chameleon of the wall itself, and replacing them in each colour's pattern within the Koscheian System." Said the Doctor. **(2)**

"You slither what now?" asked Demyx, confused,

"No, no. Slith_een,_" Axel corrected, "It's a fancy term for number." **(3) **The Doctor snorted inwardly but said nothing.

"Ah... ok..."

"Reverse it." Said Xemnas.

"But it looks so much better the way it is. I'm sure everyone would rather it how it is now, considering their rooms match their own preferences." The room became silent, no one wanting to speak up in favour of the Doctor, even if they agreed.

"Then I must punish you for disobeying orders." Said Xemnas.

"Well, you could, but if you let me leave it the way it is then I may come to see what a nice person you are... and that you may even deserve the title of Time Lord," the Doctor said. Now the silence was _really _awkward. Xemnas knew he was being manipulated, but then again, this was the closest he had ever come to getting his heart back... he didn't want to lose it so quickly.

"Very well," he said, "But nothing of this sort should happen again."

"Of course not," the Doctor assured, but added quietly, "There aren't any walls left." Luxord glared at the Doctor. "How can he get away with doing anything?" He growled quietly so no one would overhear, "I was a time wielder first, how is he special?" Xemnas ended the meeting by officially introducing the Doctor as part of the Organization, and then everyone was dismissed. Most people left via corridor of darkness, but the Doctor couldn't make those yet, so he walked.

He left the meeting room for a Hundred Acre Wood-like hallway, and was approached by the Nobody with the pink hair.

"Evening, Doctor." He said,

"Good evening, Marluxia," the Doctor replied, remembering the name, "Any particular reason why you're speaking with me?"

"You don't want to be here, do you? The Superior is keeping you here against your will, am I right?" Marluxia smiled knowingly.

"What does it matter to you if he is?" the Doctor asked carefully.

"I can get you out of here." He said,

"How?" the Doctor was excited yet wary. Could he trust this person? Marluxia handed him a piece of paper folded up a few times. "This is the directions to the Boulevard of Broken Dreams, I'll be there at 2, and we can discuss this further." The Doctor nodded, but couldn't help but enquire about _'the Boulevard of Broken Dreams.'_

"What about it?"

"It's the name of a song, a popular song, on earth in the early 21st Century."

"I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about." Said Marluxia, "And I am sure that the shared names are just a coincidence, as I doubt-"

"Ah, there you are, Doctor!" It was the voice of Xigbar, coming toward them, "Good job on the colours, dude."

"Rather rude of you, Xigbar, and here I thought the Superior members would have better conduct." Said Marluxia,

"Oh go play in your garden you flower loving idiot." Xigbar sneered.

"That's the best you can come up with?" Marluxia smirked, and then he left.

"What was flower boy talking to you about?" Xigbar asked,

"Nothing really," the Doctor replied, "Weeell, he was asking about acquiring a dog with two noses."

"Where in Kingdom Hearts would you get a two-nosed dog?" Xigbar said, laughing

"Barcelona." The Doctor answered, "Not the city, the planet."

"Well, good luck with that dog, then," Xigbar opened a corridor, and he was about to step through when the Doctor asked,

"Xigbar, can Marluxia be trusted?"

"With a two-nosed dog, yes. Anything else? Not in the slightest." This gave Doctor much to think about.

**I'm so happy to have my computer back! ^_^**

**(1): Xemnas is an asshat. Just have to say that.**

**(2): The Doctor didn't really tell them how he did it, because he figures that they'd be smart enough to figure out how to reverse it. He put in some random alien words to sound more confusing.**

**(3): Axel has no idea. He's making it up as he goes along**.

**Props to Demyx Time and Lady Chimera for their contribution to this chapter (if you can see where, have this virtual cookie (::)) I do not own them, nor anything else.**

**Oh, and tell me what you think of the A/N thing.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Does anyone **_**actually **_**read this fic? I have received 1, count it, 1 review, and it was from my brother! *coughfailcough*... So, if you **_**are **_**reading this, **_**please **_**send me a review, or at least favourite the story, alert, **_**send a homing pigeon**_** for all I care, send me **_**something**_** so that I actually know you exist, or else I won't post a chapter 5! *sniff* Wow that was a lot of italics...**

**UPDATE: ok, I've received some favourites. That's cool. But reviews are better.**

Despite the warning from Xigbar, the Doctor woke up half an hour before two and dressed in the Organisation XIII coat silently. He followed the directions on the map and found himself at the X a few minutes before two. Marluxia was already there. The boulevard itself was, deceptively, not a boulevard, but a room, a stage of an old theatre, with worn red velvet seats facing the pair. "So, what is it you wanted to speak to me about?" the Doctor asked.

"You want to leave, and the Superior is holding you here against your will, am I correct?"

"Yes, as you said before. Tell me something I don't know."

"You have a heart, and so no obligation to stay here. From what I have heard, you were found near an odd, unidentifiable object in Traverse Town. I can assume that the object was your means of travel?"

"TARDIS, yes."

"And you could easily escape our world for another that is, I assume, inaccessible via dark corridor, if you had this... TARDIS."

"Yes, I understand this," the Doctor was impatient; "Did you call me just to state the obvious and rub it in?" Marluxia smiled conspiringly.

"For the right price, I could help you get back to your TARDIS." He said. _Can he be trusted? Not in the slightest._ Xigbar's words repeated in the Doctor's head as he took Marluxia's offer in.

"What price? Money? I have plenty of money... probably," the Doctor asked, cautiously optimistic.

"I have no need for munny. No, I need..." Marluxia paused, trying to think of the appropriate word, "help, with something. How about, say, I teach you how to make dark corridors, so you can go back to Traverse Town, and at the same time, you do some things for me." _Not in the slightest! Not in the slightest! Not in the slightest! _The Doctor's reasonable side screamed at him to not trust the conniving man before him. But he was desperate to escape.

"What kind of things do you expect me to do?"

"Nothing I wouldn't do myself. Dropping off mission reports, that kind of thing. What do you say?" _Say no! Say no!_

"Ok, fine." Marluxia smiled.

-6:30 am the same day, in the Grey Area-

Saix looked around the- well, what seemed to be a children's play room- and sniffed indignantly. What, did the Doctor think they were five year olds? Nobodies began to trickle in and Saix handed them their mission statement. Eventually the Doctor turned up. "Actually XV," said Saix, "You will be training with Number II today." Xigbar, who was telling a dirty joke to Xaldin in the corner, looked up.

"Lookin' after the newbie again am I? Huh, now I know how you feel, Axel!" Axel scoffed at that.

)-In the training arena-(

The room, just like the rest of the Castle, was not white at all, but rather like the inside of a Roman Coliseum. "So what kind of training is this exactly?" the Doctor asked,

"Well, this is where we figure out what your weapon/attribute is," said Xigbar,

"Ah, no, I don't agree with the whole violence, weapon, fighting... thing." Xigbar looked at him as if he'd just grown a second head, which in turn had its own head growing out the top.

"You... don't fight?" Xigbar asked, disbelieving. The Doctor shook his head. "Well what are you doing here? We fight the Heartless to get our hearts back, that's kind of our entire purpose! Dude, even Demyx fights if he has to!"

"Well I'm sorry, but I just don't do it, and I'm probably not going to like you other guys using weapons either." Xigbar frowned, like the Doctor's passive disposition was the most absurd thing possible... which, honestly, it probably is.

"Well what do you do if something attacks you? Talk to it until it dies of boredom?" The Doctor shook his head and pulled out his sonic screwdriver.

"Usually, when something attacks, it has a reason, and I can analyse it and help it."

"Because that _totally _worked on the Heartless, didn't it?"

"Well, in my defence, I thought it was too cute to be dangerous." Xigbar scratched his head.

"Well, I want to save my own ass, so if the Superior asks, that fancy thing you got there-" he gestured at the sonic screwdriver, "- is your weapon."

"Uh... sure." The Doctor agreed, rather reluctantly, "What was the other thing I had to do?"

"Oh, the attribute! That's your special... specialty. Your power, your defining... thing," said Xigbar, eager to change the subject, "It relates to your personality, I think. Ma- Superior has power over nothingness, which makes sense 'cause he's boring. I have power over space, which makes sense 'cause I'm awesome. Xaldin has wind because... uh...I think he just likes to make his hair fly around. Don't tell him I said that though. Vexen has ice because he's really _cold, _you know, mean? Lexaeus has rock because rocks are silent, and he's silent. Zexion has illusions because he's a scheming, manipulating little *insert swear word of choice*, and who knows what goes on in his head. Saix has the moon because he's like a werewolf, only permanent. Axel has... well, I'm sure you can guess, it's kind of obvious. Demyx has water because, and I quote, 'water can dance and nothing else can'. Marluxia has flowers... that one's obvious too. Larxene's electricity because it probably causes the most pain and she's sadistic. Roxas and Xion have light because Roxas is Key Bearer and Chosen One, and Xion's basically a copy of him." Xigbar finished his speech.

"You forgot Luxord," the Doctor reminded him quietly. Xigbar grinned sheepishly.

"Yeah... I was kind of trying to avoid the Luxord subject." He rubbed the back of his head, but continued anyway, "Luxord has time, which probably explains why he's so good at poker, the cheat. I know that you'd probably prefer the time category, but Lux's annoyed enough as it is and probably doesn't want to share. So I guess you can really choose anything else."

"And how does one figure out what their power is?" the Doctor asked. Xigbar shrugged.

"It comes naturally as far as I'm aware. Hey, I've got it, wait here a sec'," Xigbar disappeared into a Corridor of Darkness, and reappeared moments later holding a thick book. He placed it in the air, where it stayed. The Doctor figured it was part of Xigbar's space power. "Point your do-hickey at that." Xigbar explained, "See what happens. Oh, don't worry about the book; it's from Zexion's 'Destroy this crap, it is not literature' pile. No one would miss it."

"It's a sonic screwdriver." The Doctor insisted, but pulled out the sonic and pointed it at the book and pressed the button. The book's pages started to fan, opening themselves and closing. It was impressive, but generally not helpful in the situation.

"Can't I just say that cleverness is my attribute?" the Doctor asked. They'd spent a few hours attempting to destroy things, trying to summon his screwdriver from where Xigbar was holding it near the roof (which only ended up with Xiggy getting a rubber ball in the place that God only meant to be treated nicely), and the Doctor getting shot at a few times (they never touched him, but there was no apparent deflection from making that so). Xigbar was on the brink of bringing over a few fangirls to scare the Doctor into action.

"I don't get it. I've been collecting recruits for years, and at least one of those methods has worked, every single time!"Xigbar complained.

"Perhaps my attribute has already made itself apparent, and is right under our noses, but isn't as obvious as these things have been in the past. Hell, maybe my attribute really is knowledge."

"But you can't kill things with knowledge!"

"Well, I don't know about that," said another voice, "I'm sure Vexen's nearly bored me to death a few times." It was Axel, wearing his trademark smirk.

"What're you doing here, pyro?" Xigbar asked,

"Roxas and Xion are on a mission that'll take them a few days, so I decided that I'd check on how the other newbie's doing." Axel said, "Maybe I've grown accustomed to looking after the young people."

"You should go on Oprah, Axel," Xigbar said sarcastically, "Imagine, 'Heartless Pyromaniac turned Babysitter.'"

"So how is the newbie doing?" Axel asked, ignoring Xigbar's comment.

"Not so well. We can't figure out my attribute because I'm too clever for mundane things like fire."

"You've got time," Axel suggested,

"No, no, that's Lux's thing. Off limits." Xigbar said quickly.

"And besides, I don't _really _have time powers, just a sexy time machine and prolonged exposure to the Time Vortex." The other two didn't hear the rest of the sentence because they stopped to snicker at 'sexy time machine.'

"Well... what _are_ we going to do about you?" Xigbar said eventually.

"I could hit you until something happens." Axel suggested

"Nah, we tried that. Didn't work." Said the Doctor.

"He used some sciency-wiency crap, and it hurt like a bag of bricks," Xigbar growled.

"So... his attribute is sciency-wiency crap? Is that even possible?"

"Well, if Xemnas can have nothingness, I guess the Doc here can have science." And so it was settled, the Doctor could totally kill the KeyBlade Master with science.

**Yeah... I got a bit desperate by the end there. Next chapter should be better though. I'm planning on putting Sora in it. I have no idea how it will turn out, but I hope he ends up crying. *Insert choice creepy/evil/crazy laugh here* Sorry for the too much dialogue at the end there. Marly should come back next chapter too. YAY.**

**Disclaimer: I'm too tired to be clever. I own only the idea. **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed last chapter! I feel like such a whiny brat now but whatever. This author has just bought Fallout: New Vegas, putting me in a Fallout mood. So the Wasteland will be making an appearance this chapter. (Not Mojave because I haven't played enough of the game to be familiar with it).**

Had anyone been watching, they would have seen before them the odd appearance of a black, swirling hole, and even odder, two men in odd black coats step out of it. In an odd fashion. The Doctor looked around at the world that would be his first mission. In one word, it was a shithole. It seemed to be in the middle of a desert, except there were many ruined buildings, and not a single bit of greenery as far as the eye could see. "Where are we supposed to be?" the Doctor asked. Xigbar frowned, and then took a piece of paper from his pocket.

"The Capital Wasteland. We're on recon; it's a newly discovered world so we've got to look around for Heartless."

"There doesn't seem to be any Heartless... or any people in general." As if on cue, three people appeared in the distance, and seemed to be running in the pair's direction. It quickly became obvious that it wasn't a welcoming committee. They were wearing old, dirty clothes that seemed to have been pulled together using scraps of other things, sporting hairstyles of an assortment of Mohawks and other gravity defying styles whose names were unknown. They also had guns, guns that were shooting at Xigbar and the Doctor.

The Doctor through himself to the ground while Xigbar swore and summoned his Arrowguns. But before he could really do anything, the three people were shot down from behind our heroes. Xigbar turned and the Time Lord stood, facing the person.

"It's kind of dangerous to be wandering around here," he said.

"Who are you? Who were those people? Why were they shooting at us?" the Doctor asked. Xigbar looked at him like he was an idiot. "Oh, right. Thanks, by the way." Xigbar facepalmed.

"Doctor, we've gotta go," he hissed, "We aren't supposed to get involved."

"But we're meant to be searching for Heartless. If there are Heartless around, I can't see them, but this guy seems to know his way 'round, so I thought it'd be smart to ask him," the Doctor argued,

"But we're supposed to be incognito!"

"Different people call me different things," the man said, momentarily ignoring the two's silent argument, "the Lone Wanderer, Vault 101, kids sometimes call me mungo, outsider, etcetera. Just call me whatever. Those 'people' were Raiders. They were shooting you because they're assholes who shoot everyone; it's just what they do. Now, who are you and what are you doing here?"

"Oh of course, you'll want my credentials," the Doctor held up what appeared to be a brown leather wallet with nothing in it, "I'm the Doctor, this is my associate Xigbar." The Lone Wanderer looked at the wallet and his eyes widened. He quickly saluted the Doctor and said, "my apologies, sir, I didn't realise it was you."

"It's alright, but no salutes, all right? Now, there has been a rumour that this place has been infested with something called Heartless, and we're investigating. Seen anything with that name, or anything extra suspicious?"

"The Heartless? Oh yeah, they're everywhere. I see one or two every few miles, but they're often swarming in places with a high concentration of radiation. In fact, I'm on my way to help a town with their infestation." The Doctor nodded,

"Thank you. Soon we'll be sending some people out to help with the situation." With that, the Doctor turned and walked away, closely followed by a confused Xigbar. When they were a sufficient distance away from the Lone Wanderer, they stopped. And nothing happened. Xigbar kept gawking at the Doctor, wanting to ask about what had just happened but couldn't find the words. So they stood there in awkward silence for three minutes and 48 seconds before the Doctor said, "Well, are you going to open a Dark Corridor or what?" This snapped Xigbar out of his trance-y, non speak-y thing.

"What the f(ATTENTION: THE FOLLOWING SWEARWORD HAS BEEN REMOVED, BECAUSE BOTH DOCTOR WHO AND KINGDOM HEARTS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FAMILY-FRIENDLY. HOWEVER, PLEASE ENJOY OUR SUBSTITUTE)lobberworm did you do? This mission was meant to take hours and you do it in 8 minutes. You show him a blank piece of paper and he starts treating you like you're the king of the freaking worlds."

"Ah, the paper is slightly psychic, it appears different depending on who's looking at it and what kind of affect I want to have. I could be Emperor of Sweden one day and Bill Nye the Science Guy the next. Now, can we go?" Xigbar shook his head and smirked, opening the Corridor.

"Saïx is going to love you."

In the week that followed that day, the Doctor had fallen into quite a pattern. He'd soon tried a mission involving actual Heartless killing, and as it turned out, the Sonic was ultimately useless against them. Paired with his passive stance on killing things, he- for lack of a better word- sucked. Saïx had from that moment on only given the Doctor recon missions, at which he had excelled.

He'd also been doing favours for Marluxia, which were, despite what all us fans thought, really simple things that weren't bad at all, like giving his mission reports to Saïx when he was busy, or putting his dinner in the fridge for later if he was going to be late back from missions. (What, did you really think that Marluxia would be evil and use the Doctor to take over the Organisation? Of course not!). And it was that week later when Marluxia first kept his end of the promise and actually teach the Doctor to summon a Dark Corridor.

"The first thing you have to understand is, the Corridors can only be summoned by those with a certain amount of darkness within them," Marluxia began, at their second meeting on the Boulevard of Broken Dreams. "Becoming a Nobody automatically raises your darkness a fair bit, but it really depends on your Somebody. The more pure of heart you were as a Somebody, the less darkness you have as a Nobody. Which explains why Roxas took a whole three months, plus extra lessons to figure it out, and Naminé was never able to do it at all. It also explains why Larxene got it in a record 11 minutes and 47 seconds." The Doctor could imagine Larxene being the kind of person who would be able to perfect a dark art in less than 15 minutes. "So, look inside of yourself, you'll need to find the darkness within you, and accept it, wield it. And ignore the blatantly obvious, purely terrible cliché of that last line." Marluxia gestured for the Doctor to begin.

At the moment, the Doctor could have begun a very angsty inner monologue on the fact that he had faced so much bad stuff in his extensive life, and how he had buried the darkness within him so deep for so long, it could have innumerable consequences on his mind, his heart, or even his soul. He didn't, choosing instead to lock the thoughts up among all the other angsty thoughts he'd had over the years (surely by now he has an organ called 'the angst bottle' or something) and delve into the metaphysical black hole of darkness.

He opened the flood gates, letting the darkness through (that word has been used an awful lot in the last few paragraphs, hasn't it?) and he... well, wielded it. That meaning, he became aware of its existence, rather than his usual approach of 'if-I-can't-see-it-it's-not-there!' It was taking quite a lot out of him, keeping the darkness close, but yet not too close as to take over him. It's really quite difficult (and if you guys ever see Riku, you tell him how much you appreciate his struggle. It'd make his day).

"You have an impressive aura," Marluxia said, "Like, twice Larxene, and I thought _she_ was dark."

"Are you implying that I'm evil?" the Doctor asked, too tired to really be offended.

"Not evil, just a certain amount of potential that could be used either way. I get the feeling you're too afraid to try. Know this, Doctor: There is no place for fear among those lacking hearts. I can tell that this exercise weakened you incredibly. Thus, we shall end the lesson. Spend some time practicing with the darkness, and we shall meet again next week."

**A/N: Kind of ended this with Marly as a bit of a genius type. I don't even know how. *Shruggles*. **

**R/R/F/A!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: This occurs around the time where the Demyx battle is fought (the one he died in :( aww). But in this universe, this happened before Chain of Memories, because I still need Marly for next chapter. I don't know if this would change how Sora acts in CoM, but that doesn't really matter.**

Xemnas was on the Alter of Naught, staring out at the heart-shaped moon known as Kingdom Hearts, thinking. No, he was not being emo, he was not brooding, he was not listening to Linkin Park, My Chemical Romance or any other emo band, he was THINKING.

While Xemnas was not brooding, Saïx appeared.

"Superior, you wanted to see me?"

"Yes. It appears that Sora is coming. Do you have an opinion on who to send? I was thinking Luxord or someone equally disposable (OUCH). What do you think?"

"Well, sir, I think it'd be a good idea to send in the Doctor. Because there is very little chance that Luxord will actually kill Sora, as with most others. However, I think the Doctor could. Despite his preference to not partake in violence, I think there is a part of him that could kill even the most indestructible of monsters. He might actually stand a chance. It's worth the risk, sir." Xemnas did consider it. Was it worth the risk? It could either lead to the loss of the closest they'd ever come to completing their goal, or to destroying the one thing that could (and probably would) threaten their establishment. The stakes were pretty high.

"You're right, Number VII. Have the Doctor be in The Hall Where Cutscenes are Created, within the hour, please. He's fast approaching."

۞ IN THE GREY AREA ۞

The Doctor was in the Grey Area, lounging on a couch, surrounded by Roxas, Xion and Demyx. "And I opened the box, and there he was, my arch nemesis, standing not even a foot high!" The four of them cracked up, until Saïx turned up and began handing out mission cards. When it was only Saïx and the Doctor left, the Doctor said, "So, what have you got for me today? Oh, and just wondering if you could fit me into a day at Amestris. Zexion lent me one of his encyclopaedias, and that place seems interesting."

"Actually, Doctor, you're in for a special mission today."

"Go on?"

"You are required to be in The Hall Where Cutscenes are Created, to partake in what is called a 'Boss Battle'." The Doctor frowned and shook his head.

"I'm not fighting anyone, so don't even try."

Saïx sighed, "Normally, we wouldn't bother even asking, but this is a different situation. This isn't just some Heartless, this is _Sora._ And basically, you're the only one who really has a shot fighting him."

"But I don't fight, and you know that, _Superior_,"

"And as your Superior, and because my Superior is of the same opinion, you have to do what I say." The Doctor rolled his eyes, but could not deny the fact that Saïx was right.

"You see, this is why I don't like authority. They tell me what to do, and I don't like being told what to do!" Were Saïx one to show emotion, one may have seen him smirk at that.

۞ The Hall Where Cutscenes are Created ۞

The Hall Where Cutscenes are Created looked a lot like it sounded. It was a great collaboration of every single cutscene from every single Kingdom Hearts game, all meshed together in a whirlpool of colour and revelations. Surely if one was to look at it for more than five minutes, they'd either have a seizure from the overwhelming-ness of it, or else discover the meaning of life within its mismatched picture. But anyway, we didn't come here to admire the scenery; we came to watch the Doctor kick ass! (And to watch the customary pre-battle cutscene, which would make a picture of The Hall Where Cutscenes are Created appear on the wall of The Hall Where Cutscenes are Created, making one of those never ending, picture-within-a-picture pictures. But whatever). The Doctor stood in the Hall, pacing back and forth, waiting for Sora. _What's keeping him? _No sooner had he thought that when the doors across the far side of the hall crashed open and in flew three bodies. The Doctor hadn't expected to see animals (especially ones that were as tall as people, that walked erect and even wore clothing), and he hadn't expected Sora to be, well, Sora. Sora had seemed bigger, more intimidating in his head, he'd have to be to put the Organisation into such fear (in other words, he had expected someone like, I don't know, RIKU?).Not the scrawny kid before him, with brown spiky hair, blues eyes and multi coloured clothing. He looked oddly familiar... a lot like...

"Roxas?" The Doctor asked.

"Uh, no, I'm Sora."

"No, I know that, you just look a lot like someone I know," he recalled something one of the other members had told him, about how a Nobody's name was an anagram of their original with an X added in. He did the work quickly in his head and said, "Oh, OH. OH! You're his other! But the other isn't supposed to co-exist along with-" and he recalled even more things that people had told him. '_Sora isn't like normal people. I mean, for one, he has a KeyBlade. Most people don't have KeyBlades. But he has also been made into a Heartless, but then came back from it. People don't do that, that's just not how it's supposed to work.'_ Seriously, he'd pretty much been told right out that Sora had a Nobody. "Oh, I'm thick, I'm so very thick."

"Um... ok?"

"Sora, don't trust him! He's one of the Nobodies!" cried the Duck, pointing an accusing finger at the half- Time Lord. Sora gasped and summoned the KeyBlade.

"Oh come on, really? You're just going to fight me, is that it? Too bad if I'm a good guy in disguise or something, or if I was in a costume! No, it's all 'suspicious clothes, must destroy!'"

"Are you going to get a weapon, or am I going to fight an unarmed (unhearted) man?" Sora asked, ignoring the Doctor.

"You're going to just kill me? Don't want to try talking over it first or anything? Never mind me being Heartless; you're the real heartless one! When was the last time you thought about a person you killed?"

"They're Heartless monsters who have no feelings."

"And that makes it right? I've fought creatures beyond your wildest imagination, and I've always, _always_ given them a choice. Do you give anyone a choice? Are you really any better than the rest of us?"

"Don't let him trick you, Sora!" The Duck said. The Doctor sighed; he was _really _getting sick of that duck.

"Last chance; draw your weapon, or I'll kill you now," Sora said. The Doctor facepalmed but complied, pulling the sonic screwdriver from his pocket, without a really, over-the-top, sparkly, angelic weapon summon. Sora was taken aback. No one just puts their weapons in their pockets. Heck, no one puts anything in their pockets. Pockets were there to look cool! Eventually though, Sora got over it, drew the KeyBlade back behind his head (or you could say he stole the Riku pose), let out an impressive battle cry, and charged. The Doctor yawned, bored, changed a setting on the sonic, aimed it at the KeyBlade and clicked the button. And before his eyes, the KeyBlade shrunk to the size of a regular key. (do they even have those in Kingdom Hearts?) It fell out of Sora's grasp and onto the ground, to the astonishment of the Duck and Dog. Not that Sora noticed. He continued to run at the now amused Doctor. It wasn't until he was about a metre away and trying to bring the key forward and start whacking the shit out of the Doctor that he noticed it was no longer there. Sora gaped, staring at his empty hand.

"My KeyBlade! Where's my KeyBlade?" The Doctor pointed at the small key. (because when it's small, can it really be called a Key_Blade_?) Sora ran over to it and picked it up. "What did you do to it?"

"Oh, I just temporarily displaced some of the atoms. Don't worry; it'll be fine by tomorrow morning." The Doctor assured. The Duck looked furious.

"Why I ort'a-!"

"Now hold on there, Donald. He doesn't want to kill us, but if you provoke him, he'll probably have to. I think we should listen to him." Said the Dog. Oh, he was good.

"Thank you!" The Doctor said, "He's right! I don't want to hurt you, but if you keep trying to kill me then maybe I will have to. Sora, I won't kill you, but in order for the Organisation to believe that I have, you're going to pretend that you are dead, and stay away from the Organisation."

"But... Xemnas is evil!" Sora protested. The Doctor scoffed,

"Really? Because I've known him, hell, I've lived with him, for a few weeks now, and he doesn't strike me as evil at all. He's just really desperate. On an evil scale of Lord Vader to Vaurien Scapegrace, he's about a Dr. Doofenshmirtz **(1)**, so you have nothing to fear." Sora, who had been to the world of Tri-State Area, smiled. That smile soon faded though.

"But even if he's a not-very-good bad guy, he's still a bad guy. I can't just let him... be evil, and sit by and _watch_! I'm a Key Bearer! Key Bearers are supposed to be the protectors of humanity!"

"You can still help humanity, but maybe you'll have to do it behind the scenes. Or, if you can, hand the KeyBlade on to someone else (LIKE RIKU)." Sora thought long and hard over the idea, but eventually he nodded. He picked up his little key, turned to the Dog and the Duck, and said,

"Come on, Donald, Goofy. We've got to talk to the King about this." The animals (Donald and Goofy) nodded, and left the hall. Sora was about to follow them, but turned to face the Doctor. "Thank you." The Doctor just nodded.

**A/N: Daleks are so fucking badass they just totally skip the evil scale and just be amazing without the statistics of it. Just to clarify. **

**Ok, so this wasn't as much of a Sora ass-whooping as I had hoped. But can you really see the Doctor beating up a pathetic looking kid like Sora? No. **

**(1)- Did I just go there? I rather think I did! ^_^**

**Oh, and a shout out to my best friend, Tia, who is going to read my fics! *honoured, since she doesn't play KH and most of my fics are KH fics* **

**Reviews make me happy, thanks to reviewers, etc. Etc. **


	7. Chapter 7

The Doctor was in the library, reading one of Zexion's books, _The Origin of Species _by Ansem (what, of course Zexion doesn't have our version) and pointing out just exactly where the theories were wrong to Vexen, who was going through a crisis at finding out that everything he'd ever believed was wrong.

"But the main thing is, the stars are not the souls of dead people or planets, and no matter what argument you have to rebut that with, it doesn't change the fact that it isn't true," said the Doctor.

"That may be true in your universe, but in ours-" Vexen was interrupted by a rather large book being flung at his head (with the rather saucy title of _Itchi Itchi Make Out Paradise_). The Doctor gawked at Marluxia, who was smirking.

"Oh, sorry, Vexen, I was just returning Larxene's book. I didn't see you there!"

"Bull fucking shit!" Vexen growled, rubbing a huge, red bump on his head.

"Doctor, may I speak with you for a moment?" Marluxia asked, ignoring the Superior member, "And particularly without Frosty the Snowman within listening distance." Falling right into the _way too obvious _trap, Vexen glared at Marluxia.

"How _dare _you take such a tone with your Superior? Why I should take this up with Xemnas!"

"Uh huh, are you also going to tell him about your _highly illicit _experimentation on Xaldin, your attempts to frame Xigbar so he gets kicked out, and that clone you're making? You're in enough trouble for making Xion." Marluxia smirked, smug, as Vexen went red and was probably a hair's breadth from freezing Marluxia and his garden then and there (if it wasn't for the fact that the garden was responsible for the Organisation's primary food source (for they only had the shitty chicken on Tuesdays), he probably would have). As it was, he mumbled obscenities, and shot evil looks at Marluxia **(1)**.But eventually he did end up leaving, if only to dress the wound on his head, which was now bleeding quite a lot. Once Vexen had gone, Marluxia turned to the Doctor and smiled.

"Ok, Doctor, I need a favour. Superior Xemnas has allowed me access to a few files that I need. However, I have a difficult mission that I must leave for in about an hour, and it will probably take me the rest of the day and all of tomorrow. May I request that you get the files for me? All the files under the letter 'P'," The Doctor frowned.

"Exactly why did that mean that Vexen had to leave the room?" The Doctor asked suspiciously. Marluxia shrugged.

"Vexen doesn't like me. Well, he doesn't much like anyone, but me in particular, he hates. So if I give him any suspicion that I'm doing anything remotely, possibly bad, he'll jump on it like a kitten on a ball of wool. At least if he's not there, he hasn't got anything to go on." It would be a reasonable enough excuse, were it anyone else. But Marluxia was a Nobody, a selfish, heartless, conscienceless being, who would show no remorse at killing a person, let alone lying to get something they want. But the Doctor had to trust the other man, for now, at least.

"Yeah, ok then."

۞ The Next Day, Before Xemnas' Office ۞

Marluxia had forgotten one thing. The door was locked, at all times, and any attempt to enter the room via Dark Corridor set off an alarm direct to the Superior. The only way in was to unlock the door. Marluxia did not have a key. It was about now that the Doctor gave up all hope that maybe he was wrong and Marluxia really wasn't doing something intensely evil. Shaking his head, the Doctor sonic'd the doorknob on the door to Xemnas' office, waltzing in like he owned the place. The room was huge, with a big ass desk in the centre and filing cabinets lining the walls, an entire cabinet for each letter. _How the hell does he expect me to get the whole cabinet's worth of files to him?_ Xemnas would have to have so many files to need so much space.

_Or, maybe he just had a lot of files under the letter A. _The huge ass filing cabinet held 15 thin manila folders that looked quite small in comparison. None the less, the Doctor grabbed the anti-climatic files and slammed the cabinet closed.

Now, any polite person would not open the files that were not intended for them. But then again, said polite person would not break in to buildings, act like a know-it-all and take money or sneak into parties. All in all, the polite person would not be the Doctor. So that's what made it ok for the Doctor to open the files and read them like a newspaper. He was not at all surprised at what was in the folders. There were fears, weaknesses, allergies, and enough incriminating data to set any good blackmail artist, their partner and three of their kids for life... twice. A file on each of the Organisation members, even the Doctor (though it was lacking in anything good) and Xemnas. _Oh Marluxia you DOG. _It was clear exactly why he wanted this information. Now, what to do about it?

۞ Later, in the Dark Turn of Unrelenting Gloom (Otherwise known as the Emo Corner) ۞

"What are you doing here, Xigbar?" The Doctor asked. He had gone to Xigbar's room to find a sticky note saying 'Gone Sue hunting, be back later.' Then, finding out from Zexion that the Sues (Mary Sues) are most commonly found in the Dark Turn of Unrelenting Doom (or more commonly known as the Emo Corner), the Doctor had found Xigbar aiming his gun at a small block of cheese.

"I'm Mary Sue hunting, Doc. They are attracted to cheese."

"...Why?" the Doctor asked,

"They're a menace to society. But anyway, that's probably not why you decided to come here. What's up your a-"

"Is Marluxia a valuable member of the Organisation?"

"Um... no, not really. I regret having ever found him. Why?" He was still staring intently at the block of cheese, his aim never wavering. The Doctor noticed a rainbow coloured glob of sparkles inching its way over to the cheese. "There you are!"

"That's a Mary Sue? But I thought Sues were humanoid."

"That's only after the authors get a hold of 'em," Xigbar explained, "They start out like this, sparkly globs of Pure Perfection. The look docile and cute, until you turn your back. That's when they feast on your unguarded brain cells and legitimately interesting ideas. From there they can gain enough strength to call for authors in other worlds, and screw their brains up to the extent that they actually think creating a Mary Sue is a good idea." By the time Xigbar had finished the explanation, the Mary Sue glob had made it all the way to the cheese and had completely covered it, making sucking sounds to show it was eating. In one quick pull of the trigger, Xigbar shot the glob, which blew up in an explosion of pink glitter. "Gotcha!" Xigbar stood up then. "Anyway, what were you saying?"

"It seems Marluxia has been doing something bad, bad enough that he may need to be... removed." Said the Doctor. Xigbar smirked,

"Spoken like a true Nobody!" He laughed, not caring at all that the Doctor had implied he was going to murder a guy. "Seriously, for a moment there I thought I was talking to Saix! You've come a long way from the, no offence, but from a wuss who wouldn't fight a Shadow Heartless, to a man plotting murder! Maybe I'll be spending some extermination missions in your company in the near future?" The Doctor hated to admit, but it was true. He was reverting to his immediately-post-Time-War, pre-Rose self. Well, of course he was, he was living with the Organisation for crying out loud! Between Saix's ass-hattery, Roxas' stupidity, Luxord's douchery and Larxene's... Larxenery, it was a wonder that only the last 5 Organisation members had been killed. (Yes, there had been 5 Organisation members before Roxas and (kind of) Xion joined.)

"I guess I have changed," the Doctor agreed reluctantly. Oh if the Master could see him now, he'd laugh his beard off.

"So, how'd you find out about Marly's illegal activity?" Xigbar asked, changing the subject as he scraped the goo up with a dustpan he'd seemingly pulled out of nowhere. The Doctor, not wanting to admit to his accidental momentary trust in the pink-haired Nobody, said,

"It's none of your concern." He then turned and walked away, halting any possibility of Xigbar attempting to continue the conversation.

۞ The Boulevard of Broken Dreams, 2 am ۞

The Doctor was playing Mario on Nintendo DS in a folding camping chair on the Boulevard of Broken Dreams (and, also, he was playing 'Boulevard of Broken Dreams' on an iPod) when Marluxia came in, rather angry. "Doctor, you were meant to get the files for me, where are they?" He seemed quite stressed about it.

"Calm down, Marluxia, they're right here," the Doctor said lazily, not taking his eyes off the game while waving the files around. Relief flooded Marluxia's face.

"Thank you, Doctor." Marluxia hurried over and snatched the files from the Time Lord's hands. He quickly opened the first folder, looking expectant. His jaw dropped when he found the file had not contained weaknesses and take-over-Organisation worthy information, but a recipe to make Coke-Cola Chicken **(2)**.

"What is the meaning of this?" Marluxia shouted.

"The meaning of what? Because last time someone asked me that question, I had no idea what I was supposed to say, so I went with 42. So, the answer is 42." the Doctor answered in the same calm tone, before yelling obscenities at a Cooper who had killed the Italian plumber.

"What have you done with the files?"

"I've done nothing. Honestly, I didn't even want to see, who knows what you two are sharing between each other?" Marluxia shook his head in disgust.

"Don't lie to me!" Marluxia threw the files across the room, which burst open, letting several papers fly (like the lyrics to the Hetalia Marshmallow Song, the fanfiction shit-classic, 'My Immortal,' and a full page of terms and conditions from various websites). Slowly, the Doctor put the game down and stood up.

"You're right, Marluxia, I did change the files. I know what they were for and what you were trying to do, and I am not going to let you do it."

"So you're a traitor?" Marluxia sneered.

"Yes. Weeeelll, technically, no, considering your a traitor to the Organisation, so I'm more like a double agent, really."

"All that matters is that you're a traitor to me."

"Well no, because I never signed an alliance agreement or anything, I just said I'd do things for you in exchange for lessons in corridor making, which, by the way, are not doing so well. Don't quit your day job." For once, Marluxia had nothing to say.

"Why would you want to kill Xemnas anyway?"

"Why do you ask that, when you hate him as much as I do?"

"I hate him because I have a legitimate reason. I still have a heart, I have a place I can go, and I'm being held prisoner. And even then, he does think he has to keep me here But you! You don't have a heart, do you? And you want it back just like everybody else, right? And no one does work finer than an Organisation. You have 14 people living here. That's 14 times the destroyed Heartless you'd get on your own. Really, Xemnas is your only shot."

"You misunderstand. I'm not trying to kill everyone, just Xemnas. We don't need him."

"You do know that Saix is loyal to Xemnas, and that he does all the work, right? He won't help you, and him you very much do need." Marluxia was getting quite sick of the Doctor and his smartness, and his always getting everything right. He summoned his scythe angrily. The Doctor did not look all that worried.

"Turns out that you were not as useful as you made yourself out to be. A pity. Not for me really, but for you." He pointed his scythe in the Doctor's face, only about 5cm off his face. The Doctor, thoroughly unimpressed, pulled out his sonic screwdriver and soniced the scythe into a little crumpled ball of metal. The fury that was displayed on the face of the rose-haired man was incomprehensible. "How dare you!" He shouted (sounding an awful lot like Vexen). Then he drew his fist back, about to perform an epic, KO punch that would make this author's martial arts sensei's proud (well, not really, because Marluxia, your stances are wrong and you're not protecting yourself correctly). But of course, that was when Xigbar decided to make his presence known in the most awesome way possible: He pulled out his arrowguns and shot right in that small gap between Marluxia's fist and the Doctor's unexpected face. (Because, seriously, who ever tries to punch the Doctor? And when he is punched, he's ALWAYS caught off guard.) Startled by the streaking purple arrow, Marluxia was unbalanced and his punch went wide, grazing the Doctor's left cheek as the momentum from the strength of the punch pulled the assassin to the ground. "Watch yourself, Doctor!" Xigbar called, laughing.

"Oh I bet you loved that!" The Doctor said, shaking his head and grinning. Xigbar floated, upside down to where the Doctor was. Marluxia tried to get up. In response, Xigbar stomped his boot on Marluxia's back, sending him spralling. The Freeshooter then touched the tip of weapon to the back of the Rose-coloured head

"Uh, uh, you're not going anywhere, Frenchy!"**(3)** said Xigbar. "Now, Doctor, go get Xemnas or Saix or someone, I'll keep the traitor company."

"Fuck you, Xigbar." Marluxia cursed, but was totally helpless.

"Xigbar, why are you even here?" the Doctor asked.

"Well, frankly, you're shit at lying, and Marly must be pretty damn stupid to believe you still after all this time. Your sudden curiousity about Marluxia was odd, but when I asked you about it you avoided the question and ran off. So I followed you. Pretty lucky, eh?"

"Well, Xigbar, I thank you... for... stalking me." It didn't exactly sound like something you'd be thankful for, but it's the thought that counts, yes?

"No... problem?" It was awkward for Xigbar too. "But anyway, how come you were hear anyway? I caught something about favours, I'm not exactly sure..."

"Yeah, uh, Marluxia offered to teach me how to make Dark Corridors so I could get the hell out of here and back to my TARDIS, in exchange for favours." Xigbar smirked,

"You know, if you wanted to leave, you could have just asked. I've known what Xemnas was up to since day one, and I was just waiting to see how long it would take to ask me to help you escape." The Doctor was speechless.

"Well, I feel extremely thick." He said eventually. Xigbar snorted.

"How about you go get Xemnas, and then you can go get your shit, and we'll head off, hey?"

"Uh, yeah..."

۞ The Chapter Concludes- Crooked Ascension ۞

The Doctor went and got Saix (Xemnas was 'busy' (watching more anime)), who apprehended Marluxia, who is now in one of the dungeons, awaiting punishment. The Doctor packed his measily items (his suit, sonic screwdriver, psychic paper, and a Moogle he kept as a pet) and met Xigbar on Crooked Ascension. It was best to leave without the goodbyes. "You ready to go?" Xigbar asked.

"Yes, thank you,Xigbar." He opened the Dark Corridor and gestered for the Doctor to get into it. Before he had the chance, however, the Doctor heard the horrifically familiar screech of gun-shots. "No. No, what are they doing here?"

"Doing here? What is that? Doctor?"

"EX-TER-MI-NATE!"

۞

**A/N: Ok, I had originally planned for the story to end next chapter, with a longer sequence of the Doctor leaving, patching things up with Luxord, etc. But then my brother found out about it, and was quite unhappy. He then suggested that I put the Daleks in there too. It took me about two seconds to decide on that. Oh brother, how I love and hate you -_-. So, this will come as good to some, awful for others. **

**Anyway:**

**(1):**** If anyone has read my other fic, Let's do the CaramellDansen, and recall that badass description of Vexen's smile: take that description and put it into a glare. That is what is meant in that moment.**

**(2): Thanks goes to my friend Christine who gave me that recipe :D**

**(3): I know Marluxia isn't French, and there is absolutely no example of that within the canon fandom, but Marluxia strikes me as the French sort of guy, and Xigbar strikes me as the kind of guy who would call someone not-French French anyway.**

**Thanks goes to my reviews and my friends (particularly X, who has threatened to force me to eat a hat if this chapter wasn't published today -_-)**


End file.
